I have really noticed over the last few weeks how our shame with sex and sexuality can manifest itself. If we were enlightened beings we could accept sex as a natural part of who we are and experience it without shame, guilt or judgements. And we would freely use it as ways to experience bliss and profound altered states of consciousness. You would then ask the question about what gets in the way in that? What stops that happening? Over the last few weeks I have been aware that some forms of tantric offerings on the market are too sexual in their online imagery, that a 'love temple' is an excuse for an orgy, and that people make too much noise when experiencing bliss. When I reflect on this, I wonder if this all comes from our own social programming, not to be too loud in sex, not to make too much noise, that sex at some level is wrong, that too much sex makes you self-centred and just about personal gratification.
For me it all depends on the context of sex. I believe there are many ways to experience sex. There is what I call genital sex, where it is largely animalistic, where ejaculation and orgasm are the goal. I see nothing wrong with that, because as humans we are designed to be sexual beings. That's why we get urges and twinges every few days to remind us of that. However we can also choose to use that sexual energy, to take it to a higher vibration, to transform that energy, and at its highest we can have profound experiences where it can feel like the whole universe has opened up to us. At its best, in sex you are conscious, you are alive and awake, you are feeling every sensation in your body, you are being fully conscious of everything happening, you are awake! And for me, this is very important at a time when we shut down as we hear about how we are destroying our planet and we are destroying parts of ourself. If sex is what keeps us awake, keeps us present, keeps us alive, then surely that is a good thing.
As a human being, choice is one thing I have about sex. I can choose to control it, I can choose to be shameful over it, I can choose to be judgemental about others in it. But all of those places lead to unhappiness. Instead you can choose to enjoy it, to allow it to wake you up, to allow it to give you sensations in your body that you have never had before. You can choose it as the gateway to enlightened states. It is down to you, the choice is yours ….
I often look at sex in the same way as a meal or a theatre trip. You can enjoy it as frequently or infrequently as you like. You can try different forms - like Thai, French or Mexican in cuisine, and like musicals, opera, plays and poetry readings in theatre. You can enjoy it as a group, with one other, or on your own. You can go to different venues for it, or even enjoy it at home (think of playing charades as theatre at home!). You can have it all in one sitting, or maybe have 2 or more courses (or Acts at the theatre).The same can be true of sexual activities. Fast food is the equivalent of our animalistic need for sex. Rude quick stand up comedians may be the equivalent in theatre world. Fine dining 7 course gastronomic feasts are the food equivalent of higher forms of tantra in out sexual world. Opera or outdoor proms in theatre would be the tantric equivalent to the sexual souls.
In society, we enjoy and are encouraged to participate all these types and varieties of experiences of eating and of theatre. It is acceptable and considered culturally worthy. The variety of both food and theatre available in the UK, is amazing. From fast food to fine dining, from street performers to opera, we are culturally accepting and liberated by it. Experiencing food and theatre in all its forms makes you more characterful, and builds up your repertoire of experiences and emotions by stimulating each sense of taste, sight, sound and feel. Society is culturally better for letting us have so much choice of people, restaurants, types of food, service, food types, and theatre performances. We should not feel shameful about enjoying all these different forms of sexual entertainment in the same way. Sex, food and performance, are all basic human needs that can all be expanded in many ways. Tantra explores sex in the same way that theatre and restaurants have explored the human capacity, love and enjoyment for food and performance. Society should encourage us to explore sex in its multitude of forms. A character building, emotionally opening offering is available within our sexual being, and it is called tantra.
For more information or to try tantra, please look at my tantric treatments and tantric training .
Best wishes, Steve x x
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