In recent years, I have been deeply blessed, taking weeks out for just ‘being’, spending many days in contemplation and reflection, and, would you believe, lots of silence. I laugh when I write this, because I do enjoy silence a lot!
One of the special places I have visited is Tiruvannamalai, a pilgrims’ and temple town in Tamil Nadu (India), by Mt Arunachala, a sacred extinct volcano, the very place where the great spiritual master Ramana Maharishi became enlightened. What attracted me to this place is its incredible spiritual energy, and the fact that each winter there is a collection of Satsang Teachers who give Satsang each day. I was there for 8 days and attended 2 Satsangs each day in 2012/2013. It was absolutely exhausting to be in that presence for a whole 8 days, twice per day and when I reflected afterwards I wondered if it was because when you are in Satsang you sit in the energy of an enlightened person. For me, I wondered whether my ego was sitting in that field for all of those times and as it felt that my system was being re-calibrated, I wondered if my ego was struggling to hold onto what it believes is reality. I am still trying to integrate everything that happened. It was like being in a dream state for a week, and it was really interesting to spend a week not ‘getting involved’ in the illusion that is all around us i.e. life as we perceive it on a day to day basis. The biggest themes that stayed with me were around everything being an illusion, that what we see in front of us is not real. All that we see is ourselves in everything and in others. In truth there is no one else, no you and no me, there is only one pure divine consciousness. When I write this to you it feels that the deeper part of me, and the day to day part of me, reach a balance and reconcile. We each have our own balance and a part of me is growing that cannot be grasped by the analytical mind. I am not afraid of this, I welcome it.
Another realisation that I am contemplating is the relationship between Love and nothingness. If nothingness is the reality (as offered by some Satsang Techers), and everything else is not, then where is the place for Love in all of that. I feel (and I might be challenged), that yes in truth there is nothing. Matter is nothing at the micro level. I can get that, but for me Love seems to be the vehicle that brings us to the door of nothingness. In my supervision sessions, I have explored the issues that have come up for me in my reluctance to move from Love into the nothingness. I’m deeply fascinated and feel called to explore this realisation more deeply … to basically, find the truth. I considered the idea of “Super Consciousness” - the idea that we are all one, and everything is part of one consciousness. The conflict inside me is the idea there is nothing, but when I consider the idea of super consciousness I can really get that, maybe it’s another deflection of not wanting to consider there is nothing! One part of me is called to what I describe the exploration of higher vibrations.
I have over the past few years in India and Sri Lanka also been deeply fascinated and even aroused by the idea of surrender and the processes that can support that place, i.e. where can I truly experience surrender. I’ve been dipping my toe into the BDSM pool and for me this represents the place where I am also on a spiritual path. For me when I look at Tantra as a whole, what people were interested in 5 years ago, people are no longer interested in those topics. I have moved on, as have many other people. So my practice can only ever be what I am and where we are in that journey ….
So the idea of surrender is the ability for a person to give up control. To give it to another person, so that you are in a state of total surrender. In Tantra, we believe that you can only experience true Bliss when you are in a state of surrender. I am deeply interested in the processes that are available to support that. In October last year I co-taught a workshop with Santi, the Rope Guru and on the 2nd day of this workshop we used the rope techniques and integrated them with Tantric techniques. What I witnessed and saw was truly beautiful, I have never seen such love between men, I was there with tears rolling down my eyes, in total admiration of what was in front of me. I will be taking this theme further this year in the workshops that I will offer in the future. When you are in a process of true surrender, how can the Tantric practices enhance that? This excites me very much about the possibilities that lie in front of us. On a personal note on this topic (which I could write much more about), is how that impacts me within my personal life, I’ll write more on that in the coming months. I have many ideas of new workshops and new projects which may raise an eyebrow and consciousness to those who want a more fulfilling awareness of tantra.
Love, light and more meditations, chakra balancing, tantric treatments, tantric training and emotional freedom technique wishes to you from me.