Tantra exists all around us. It is a philosophy that can be seen in everyday lives.
I used to live in Italy. There is a tantric truth in the lives of the people of Naples. They live under the threat of Mount Vesuvius. There is the danger of living under the constant threat of eruption, and yes you might die in the hot ash. But as long at your don't, you have centuries of great nourishment from the wonderful minerals the volcano provides in the soil, growing their famous tomatoes in the classic pizza, and the grapes for their famous wines. The people of the Bay of Naples have the healthiest teeth of Europe due to the quality of minerals in their water.
Do you see the philosophy? Eruptions are like ejaculations. Once it erupts, the energy is flung far and wide, and death occurs. In the French language, ejaculation is called 'le petit mort'. Meanwhile, all the time, the volcanic magma swells under the Bay of Naples and under Vesuvius' crater, causing tidal movements, like we feel our sexual energy swell and shrink. This constant ebbing and flowing of emotion, provides a beautiful energy. The volcanic land produces fine food and wine, in the same way that we enjoy the pleasures of the senses before ejaculation. Neopolitans enjoy all the sights, smells (pheromones), tastes, sounds and touch that they are given, passionate with divine joy.
This is how a Tantric Massage is taught and practiced here at Man on the Couch. We savour the senses by moving energy around the body, or two or more bodies, just like the Neopolitans grow grapes and tomatoes to savour Vesuvius's energy. However, in tantra, we learn to control ejaculations, and the powerful eruptive force of ejaculation, which is something the people of Naples can't achieve. They die instantly, their brains exploding their skulls into many pieces, when the pyroclastic flow of lava comes, whereas in tantra we can prevent our semen from releasing. So, we get the pleasures, and the beauty, without the danger of death (or post-ejaculatory stupor).
Another example of tantra in everyday life, is the comparison of sexual wholesomeness to food wholesomeness. When we eat, we often enjoy as much variety as possible. In England, we are blessed with a great range of cuisines from around the world. I often enjoy Japanese, Thai, Turkish, Greek, Indian, Nepalese, Iranian, Lebanese, Italian, French, Spanish... the list goes on. There are so many choices, in terms of ingredients, the forms of cooking, the presentation, the length of meal, the size of meal, and who we have it with. Sometimes we eat alone, sometimes we eat with a partner, and sometimes we have great feasts with 10's of people. We also love to talk about food, and we know all about it and the joy and healthiness it brings. We are well aware of the tastes, smells, sights, textures, colours, crunches and sounds from food as we cook and eat it, the way it is presented, the sizes of the portions. When eating food, the greatest variety we can have, makes it the most healthy, the most nutritious. 'Eat the colours of the rainbow on your plate' to maximise your intake of vitamins, minerals and trace elements.
Yet for sex, all these characteristics are not talked about, and even less, enjoyed, by many. In sex, it is the same as food, the more varieties we have, the more wholesome it is to your body. We can have sex on our own, with a partner, or with 10's of people. We can try many different positions, different partners, different styles, different lengths of sex, and explore our senses. In sex, use of smells (eg pheromones), sights (eg chests, balls, arses), touch (eg fingering, massage, penetration), sounds (remember to scream, gasp, and ask!) is usually more overwhelming than it is for food. We can present sex in many ways, we can even plan for it, as we do a meal. Choosing and preparing your sexual time - with your partners - often leads to great sex as you are communicating about what you want to try that day. Explore sexual differences just like your food, and you will learn your body reacts in a positive way.
Can you think of other examples of tantra in life?